


'Spite All My Rage

by Kirusan



Category: Earth-616 - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Battle World Never happened, Mid-Secret Wars, Not A Fix-It, Steve is an emotionless shit, ignoring BattleWorld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5303087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirusan/pseuds/Kirusan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Incursions are somehow inverted and Steve just wants to not deal with anything anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Spite All My Rage

Steve and the other Avengers limped into the tower feeling worn, exhausted, and shaken. Many of the Avengers sprawled out on any of the furniture that was closest to them, sinking into the old comforts that they have known from years of living in the tower. Even though it was the end, they won against the Illuminati and the current incursions were somehow inverted again, it was all but a silent victory for them. Steve looked around the living area as he saw bodies of blues, grays, and blacks finally relaxing after this whole mess had started. The Avengers were forced to team up and join S.H.I.E.L.D. in order to catch the Illuminati and stop them from destroying worlds, from committing global genocide. He was in charge of everything, and he hated it.

After everything was over, he put the Illuminati members into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody. Reed, Pym, and, Hulk were locked up and left to rot for all he cared. He didn’t care that Reed and them helped him out, he still needed to answer for the crimes that he committed. Hank was tricky because he was an X-man, and Steve didn’t want to start anything up with them right now. Stephen was probably dead. Namor too, so nothing to do there. T’Challa, he didn’t care if he had diplomatic immunity, he was going to have Hill deal with it. And that left… A wave of nausea hit Steve then. He swallowed the bile that was threatening to rush up his throat. No time for weaknesses, not now.

He said good night to everyone and left to the elevator. He was going to go to his room floor but decided instead to go down to Stark’s workshop. It was a long ride in the elevator. Steve took this ride thousands of times before. The doors would swoosh open and he would find Tony wrist deep, arm deep, even waist deep into his work. May it be on new Iron Man suits, the quinjets needing repairs after some villain shot it out of the sky, or on some new tech for the Avengers.

Tony didn’t always notice that Steve was there which gave Steve the privilege to watch Tony as he worked. Tony would always be so involved with his work; grease on his face, little scratches littering his arms and hands. Watching Tony always put a warm smile on Steve’s face. Those times now felt like decades away now, nothing more than a cruel, faint lie. Steve began to wonder how much of his memories were real, if there was anything that he knew about Tony that was really true.

The chime of the elevator door made Steve’s body tremble in surprise. He walked out of the elevator only a few steps into the workshop. The room was dark and smelled stale. Tony hadn’t been in here for months, and it definitely showed.

Tony would probably still be in here if only he had listened to Steve. They would have worked on some plan that would have prevented the genocide of billions, maybe trillions, of lives. But no, Tony thought he knew what was best, and that Steve needed to be out of his way. Tony wanted Stephen to go ahead with the mindwipe or else he would have stopped him, or at least would have said something after it was done. But he didn’t. He didn’t even try. Tony thought he knew what was best. Except Tony didn’t know what was best. He would come up with ridiculously absurd decisions without listening to reason. Steve has seen it so many times throughout the years fighting with Tony that he couldn’t help but question why he had never tried to lock Tony up before.

Steve snorted heavily, as if the air around him was now becoming too thick to breathe. He actually knew the answer. He just didn’t want to think about it.

The chime of the elevator rattled Steve from his thoughts, making him become tense. When the doors opened he didn’t even bother turning around. He heard two sets of footsteps behind him. They were soft so he knew they belonged to women. One set was almost nonexistent but just loud enough to make sure that they wanted their presence to be known. The other set was a little heavier, prouder even, the steps of a powerful warbird. He knew instantly who was behind him. He should have known that they would be here too. These two were very much friends with Tony as much as Steve was. Carol had always been a close friend to Tony. They battled the same battles, may they be demons in a bottle or some of the other struggles in life. They would fight together side by side one another. Natasha and Tony were close as well, but it was different from his relationship with Carol. It was a friendship that Steve didn’t really understand, but admired nonetheless.

The two women walked closer behind Steve but none of them spoke for which Steve was thankful. They just stood silently waiting for something. Words of comfort maybe? Or maybe the other way around. Either way, Steve wasn’t going to give them any piece of mind, especially if he couldn’t get it himself.

Steve walked further into the lab alone. Natasha and Carol waited by the elevator hesitantly. The lack of lights and sounds made the room feel even emptier, almost lonely. It made Steve feel even more uneasy. He didn’t even know why he was there. He was supposed to go to his room level and close himself off from everyone and everything for a long time. Everything had made him feel more exhausted then he had ever remembered being. His emotions were spiraling out of control that it was actually affecting him, even with the serum. Though he wouldn’t admit to it; he had to be in complete control when he was in front of the other Avengers. But it was Stark’s betrayal that made things too much for him. It had always been Captain America and Iron Man. Winghead and Shellhead. Spiderman had even went as far as to call them Mommy and Daddy. But to him, it was always him and Tony.

Tony always saw Steve though his mask. Sure, Tony saw him as Captain America, but Tony never let the cowl define who Steve was, it was Steve who defined the costume. Steve has known so many people, so many Avengers, who would follow Steve because he was Captain America. They would hardly ever question his orders, it didn’t matter if he was going to send them off on some suicide mission, they would still follow him regardless. They trusted him because Captain America was someone that was never wrong and could be trusted no matter what. He could not fault. America’s favorite son. They put Steve up too high on a pedestal, and he had to keep living up to their expectations to stay on that pedestal, even if he had no business being there. 

Tony was never like that though. Tony always made Steve work to prove himself, to be worthy to be on that pedestal. He would question Steve’s orders or plans, force Steve really think everything through. Tony would poke, prod, and much to Steve’s annoyance, quip at Steve’s ideas. Tony always had a way to get under Steve’s skin with the poking and prodding, and quipping wasn’t at the best time, it was almost like Tony was trying to test Steve. At the time it seemed like he was testing Steve’s patience. But he knew that it was Tony’s way of making sure that Steve had a good plan, make sure that everything and everyone would come out in one piece. Steve appreciated that about Tony. Tony would never let Steve get away with anything and would call him out ‘on his shit’.

Steve became so close to Tony that he felt that he could trust him with anything; his secrets, his thoughts, his life. But time and time again, Tony broke that trust. And Steve had always been quick to forgive him. Give Tony that second chance that he knew Tony didn’t deserve. It felt good to have Tony at his side. He liked sitting next to Tony and listened to Tony’s techno-babble. Tony would always make things simpler for Steve without making Steve feel like an idiot for not knowing exactly what Tony was talking about. Whenever Steve had a problem, Tony would always offer his help. He would use all his resources in order to help Steve. Steve needed Tony. He just thought that maybe Tony had felt the same.

Raw emotions coursed though Steve that he couldn’t help but slam his fists on the closest surface to him. He felt metal give under his strength and pieces broke apart from the surface. Steve realized that he just punched one of Tony’s old computer consoles that he didn’t use anymore. Not since everything had become holographic or something. Again old memories would flood Steve’s head, and Steve had to go through the pain of remembering them alone. For him and for Tony because Tony was dead now and Tony once again didn’t have go through any of the pain that those memories brought.

“Dammit.” Steve could no longer keep his head up; instead he let gravity pull his head down and leaned forward against the console. His face scrunched up the tears that he wanted to shed but knew that he shouldn’t. He wasn’t going to lose this battle to him. “Not to you, Tony,” he hissed under his breath. He bit his lip quickly before a sob could escape. “Not for you.”

Steve could see a light flare through his closed eyes and feel vibrations pulsing underneath his fingers. He felt himself become lightheaded from whipping his head up too fast or staring into the blinding light in front of him, he wasn’t sure. Before he knew it, both Carol and Natasha were at his side, blinded by the bright white light on the screen and alert to see what was going to happen next. Steve couldn’t help but shield his eyes with his hand, hoping to get some relief from the headache that was now getting worse from the light.

The lights in the room illuminated all at once with the console screen, burning lights showing just how empty the room truly was. It took a few moments for Steve’s eyes to adjust. When he looked back to the screen he saw that the display was flickering between static and an image. When the image finally cleared, he noticed it was an image of Tony’s workshop; the one that he was currently in. The difference was that he could see a few stools at a worktable, holograms were blazing with images that Steve couldn’t make heads or tails of. Steve could also see a small portion of the stained couch that Tony would sometimes take naps on when he could no longer see clearly. It was like how Tony’s workshop used to be again. Steve almost wished he could be on the other side of the screen.

“Like old times, huh?” a voice purred. He could hear both Carol and Natasha’s breath hitch at the words.

Steve stared wide-eyed at the screen, searching for the owner, but he couldn’t find him.

“Well I’m sure that the lab looks different now than how it does over here.” Almost on cue, the owner of the voice came on screen. He sat down on a chair in front of the screen that Steve hadn’t see before. “Isn’t that right, Cap?”

Steve tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was stare at the man smirking at him on the screen. His eyes were only on Tony.

There was a long silence. Tony didn’t talk, he just stared into the camera, straight through at Steve. Steve could really see Tony. Stress wrinkling his face, dark circles plaguing under his eyes. Heck, Steve could even tell how Tony’s face was even thinner then he could remember. Steve knew then that this must have only been recorded a few months ago, just before everything went to hell. Realization hit Steve like a truck. He knew exactly when Tony had recorded this. Steve had dragged Tony out of the lab after days of locking himself in lab, working on who knows what. He hadn’t seen Tony for a while and he knew that he was down in the lab, so Steve took it upon himself to rescue Tony from his bad habits. If he didn’t do it, then no one would. He pulled Tony away from his screens, making sure Tony ate something, showered, and slept for at least a few hours.

Tony looked just as exhausted as he remembered. But there was something about Tony that was making Steve’s stomach drop. He was staring at Tony, really looking at him right now and he could see a slight difference that he never noticed before. It was in Tony’s eyes. Sure they were the same glazed over azure that Tony had whenever he was exhausted; when he was slowly letting himself go. But Steve could see now that Tony’s eyes had a slight hazel threatening the blue of his eyes.

Steve raked his brain the day after he met Tony in the diner. Whenever he recalled the time, he kept remembering that he saw that Tony’s eyes were brown. He hadn’t really noticed it at the time, the betrayal still blinding him with hot anger. And he figured that it was his anger that made him think that Tony’s eyes looked brown when he looked back on that day. It was his hurt and pain that was making him change Tony’s appearance. But looking at the screen now, he was able to confirm that Tony had changed. His personality, his way of thinking, and now even his eyes! Steve knew in the end Tony wasn’t the same person that he befriended over a decade ago. And this video was showing just how much and how fast he was losing his best friend.

“Listen to me, Cap. I don’t have much time.” Steve looked again at Tony. He could tell Tony was trying to think of what to say. “I-I don’t know if its just because I’m lacking the sleep, or if it’s because everything is,” Tony paused. He looked away from the screen to the side. Steve watched Tony comb hand through his hair and tugged at his hair a little. He sighed before looking back at the screen.

“You know about everything now I’m sure.” Tony was starting out strong, but as he talked to him Steve heard that Tony’s voice was staring to become quieter. “How I lied. About the incursions, about the Illuminati, about the wipe.” The last part was almost nonexistent. Steve was glad for the serum to be able to hear it. Could hear that Tony knew he was wrong.

Tony stared into the camera again, eyes determined, brown breaching through the blue of his eyes. “But it needed to be done. We were trying to save everyone. Look, I’m sorry about what I did, but I couldn’t let you d-…” Steve didn’t want to hear any of this, especially now after things were finally over with. He shouldn’t need to do this. “-I needed time to see if I could figure out how to fix-“

 _Fix it?_ Steve screamed in his head. “Your idea of fixing this was to destroy the other worlds,” he hissed over the words playing on the screen. “Billions of lives were murdered because that was how you were fixing things, isn’t that right, _Stark?_ ”

Silence on the screen again. Tony just stared at the camera wearing that mask he puts on whenever Steve was in his face. Whenever Steve was yelling at him demanding answers. Face completely blank, however just the slightest bits of fear in his eyes. Fear of what, Steve couldn’t tell. Tony knew that Steve was going to snap. He just didn’t know it was a few seconds too late. The rage that Steve was so sick of feeling was returning, and all he wanted to do was punch the shit out of Tony again. In the back of his mind Steve could hear a loud audible crack of bone. Tony’s skull. Steve shook it clear of his mind for now, but he knew he was going to carry that sound with him for the rest of his life.

“But I did it,” The screen whispered. Steve whipped his head and faced the man on the screen, confused. Some time when Steve was reminiscing on his rage, Tony was falling apart. His head was hanging low on his shoulders making it impossible to see Tony’s face. “Blew up the worlds. Yeah, I guess we did. But it was to keep everyone safe.” His voice shook a little as he spoke. “I knew that I was destroying worlds that had different versions of us. Different versions of our lives, the Avengers’ lives. They were so different,. Worlds where we might have been happy, you were president, where we were marr-”, Tony drew in a sharp breath. Tony was still staring at the ground, trying to regain himself and keep his emotions in check.

“But I did do it.” He told the ground. “I did do it.” Steve wasn’t sure what Tony was talking about. Was Tony admitting to the genocide? Or was he just trying to make this more bearable for himself knowing that he had so much red on his hands. All he knew was that Tony kept repeating that he did something.

 _Guilt_ Steve guessed.

Tony wiped at his face before looking at the camera again. “I did do it.” He said again with confidence. “I did Steve. And I need you to listen, because what I am about to say is going to be confusing for you. Maybe you can get Peter or someone to help you out after this since you’ve probably locked up Reed and Pym up, but you need to listen to what I have to say now.” Steve was about to yell at the screen before Tony cut him off. “Naaah! Ah! No Steve! You have to listen this time,” He said pointing through the camera at Steve. “I know how you are going to make some stab about how you don’t have to listen to shit. But the fact of the matter is you do. Lives are going to depend on you listening to me.” It was a long silence as both men were trying to regain their breath. He could see that Tony was breathing hard, and noticed that he himself was doing the same.

“The last incursion didn’t end like you think it did.” Just then projections came to life around Steve, Natasha, and Carol. It showed images of Earths, of the Illuminati, of things Steve didn’t know what it was. One projection showed a recording of everyday people walking down the street, minding their own business. They could have never known what was actually going on around them. How their home planet, home universe, was going to collide with a neighboring universe, ending everything that they knew and held dear to them.

Another projection showed the two universes, with each Earths at the focal points, coming closer together soon according to some timer that was ticking down. Another projection showed images of Steve, and Tony with the Avengers. Not the Avengers now. There was Janet in her Wasp Costume and Hank in his Ant Man suit. There was Thor too. Clint was suited up as well with his Hawkeye mask on. It reminded Steve of the earlier times when the Avengers first started.

There was another projection showing both Steve and Tony. But it wasn’t them. He looked younger, and Tony looked a lot older. This Tony had gray hairs that peppered through the sides of his head. And he was shorter compared to Steve’s Tony. Tony was never taller than Steve, but he was still a tall man. But Steve saw how the Steve in the projection towered over his Tony. It looked from the projection, though, that fighting between the two must be something that all universes had in common. Steve could tell from the tightness of the jaw of Projection Steve and the stiffness of Projection Tony’s body that they were fighting about something. The two were in a white room, or lab maybe, having a tense argument between them. Not even a foot of space kept the distance between them. He didn’t know what they were arguing about, but Steve watched Projection Steve laugh slightly, mouthing out the words Always a way out.

Steve saw another projection with a woman brunette with long wavy hair. Her arms were crossed across her chest revealing cleavage. Steve could also see a blue glow peaking slightly through her blouse. She had a smirk on her face as she was talking fondly to someone that he could not see.

Steve wondered if these projections were the worlds that Tony destroyed. If these were the lives of the people that Tony decided that needed to die in order to save this world.

“They still exist, you know.” Tony explained. “The universes that you are seeing now are in real time. They are not dead.” Steve couldn’t believe what Tony was saying. If these worlds were still living on, then that would mean that their world must be gone, and Steve did not feel dead.

“I don’t know if you remember that Rhodey chick that helped out during that incursion, but she gave me an idea. You see, in the end the two Earths occupied the same space, they were literally sitting on top of each other. So why can’t we do it with the other ones? I discovered a way to find another dimension of space, a fourth dimension if you will, that can allow the earths to fluctuate between our already three-dimensionally time-space reality. So as another incursion comes near, and the two Earths come closer together, the will fall in and fluctuate between the x, y, z, and now alpha planes. Of course this will be a problem when they come into the same plane at the same time, but not if the two Earth’s are fluctuating between the planes at a trillionth of a second.

“The people aren’t going to be able to feel the shift in the planes. Can you feel anything? No, didn’t think so. The odds of the Earth’s coming into the same plane are unlikely, but if it does come to that, the Earths will collide for that trillionth of a second. No damage will be done. But there will be a small tremor. Hardly anyone will, or should feel it. Heh.”

Steve watched as Tony explained. He knew that Tony was trying to keep things simple for Steve to understand, but what Tony was saying wasn’t making any sense. How could Tony discover a new dimension? Let alone use that dimension to move planets? Or switch them around? Or do whatever, Steve couldn’t understand anything. The further into his explanations, Tony was using his usually techno-babble that Steve would never be able to make heads or tails of. After seeing Steve’s lost expression, Tony would then explain again to Steve by using diagrams and pictures.

Steve was able to find a projection that showed two circles blinking, between planes he guessed, at rapid speeds. There were instances where the two circles would stop suddenly and become red, positioning the two circles on top of each other. But then they would return back to normal with the rapid blinking once again. Steve guessed this is what Tony meant by when they were in the same plane at the same time.

“-but this isn’t constant.” Apparently Tony was still talking while Steve had pushed out Tony to regain his thoughts as to what he was talking about. “Every so often the data for the device to allow the earths to fluctuate needs to be recalibrate. An alarm will let you know when its coming up so its not something you can ignore. It will allow you forty-eight hours to do the recalibration and make any adjustments. So long as you do it in that forty-eight hour window frame to do the recalibrations. Hopefully after the calibrations are finished it will correct any inconsistencies that pop out and adjust to make sure the device is working properly. Then everything should be fine. But if you don’t calibrate the device when needed, then the earths will collide with one another and destroy everything. I put a file into the console on the directions about how to run the calibrations and how to proceed with any altercations, well everything is in the console actually. You might need to get Peter to help out with it though. The main purpose is to have the Earths pass through each other. The momentum of the path that the earths are moving, they will eventually pass through one another and go back on their original trajectory until it swings back again. Eventually, the earths’ paths will come back for another incursion, and the same thing will happen; it will be a continuous loop. But the device will keep any universes from colliding with us thus no universes will need to be destroyed.”

“Now I want to explain to you about the-“

Steve stopped listening. How could he keep listening? Nothing was making sense at all. Steve knew that Tony destroyed the worlds that threatened their own in order to save everyone, therefore, the worlds that Steve was seeing on the projections must be no more. But now Tony is saying that he somehow save multiple worlds without killing anyone. Tony must be lying, trying to create some delusion freeing him from the guilt of killing so many people. If Tony did indeed find a way to prevent the incursions without any deaths, then why keep it a secret. That was what Steve wanted in the first place; a way to save lives without having to take them. But Tony wanted to take the easy way out and blow up anything that came too close for comfort.

That was the reason for the mindwipe, wasn’t it? Steve didn’t want to destroy the worlds. He didn’t want the Illuminati to do it either. They knew that Steve would do everything in his power to keep them from destroying world, that’s why they erased his memories and keep him out of their hair. But if what Tony was saying was true, then why did they keep that away from him. If it meant that no worlds had to be destroyed, if no lives had to die, then Steve would have welcomed it. Heck he would have helped anyway he could. But since they didn’t tell him, Steve came up with a conclusion; Tony was lying.

None of the other Illuminati members had known about this dimension swapping that Tony was talking about. So Steve knew then that Tony was making up whatever he was talking about. There was no additional dimension that Tony discovered, there was no device that can change the worlds locations, there were no worlds that were spared from the Illuminati’s terror. That was the only thing that was making sense for Steve now. Steve could now see that Tony was running away in his own delusions that he was starting to believe his own lies.

Anger burned at Steve’s cheeks again. Leave it to Stark to turn away from any guilt. Tony deleted his brain before, sure it was to make sure that Osborn wouldn’t get the names or the registered heroes, but Tony made no effort to try to get those memories back. Instead he left Steve alone to be tortured by what happened during the war between them. And Tony had the luxury of being oblivious to everything. And now Stark was doing it again, being oblivious to what was actually happening around them. Turning a blind at the fact that he has destroyed countless worlds in order to saving himself. He even made up some outlandish story, claiming that everything is alright, just make sure some stupid machine is working properly. Tony had gone insane. Steve only wished that he had seen it sooner so he could lock Tony up before things started to get so horribly wrong.

But Steve knew that he let himself be blinded when it came to Tony. Why, he didn’t know; strength of their friendship, love, he didn’t want to think about it. Steve was never good at emotions other than anger. Anger was easy for Steve. But everything else was too awkward for him. Except for when he was with Tony. Steve never needed to explain, Tony just knew somehow. Even if he didn’t want anyone to know that something was wrong, Tony always did know that there was something up. It annoyed Steve to no end in the past, but Steve found how he missed it when Tony kept his distance from Steve after the war, after everything went to hell.

A hand on his shoulder startled him. He tried to keep his body rigid, but he was certain that the hand felt his body tremble. He gathered himself before he turned to Carol. She could see that Steve was struggling inside of himself, and Steve was grateful that she was there. He turned to Natasha, who was still facing the screen, but he could tell that she was staring at him at the corner of her eyes; giving him that little bit of privacy to collect his thoughts and himself. For that he was also grateful. Steve nodded to Natasha letting her know that he was fine. After watching him for a brief moment she gave him the barest of a nod accepting his own assessment. She then pointed out to the screen, signaling that he should be listening.

Steve took a shaky breath before turning back to the screen. He slowly started to tune Tony back in, who was still rambling on while Steve was having his little moment. All the projections of the other worlds were gone, and Tony was no longer on the screen. Steve panicked slightly, trying to figure out how much he missed. The screen showed three circles, two overlapping each other and one off to the left side. There were also numbers to the side; some were constant and others that were changing. The screen reminded Steve of one projections that showed when the two worlds were colliding while fluctuating between the different dimensions.

Then it donned on Steve. Tony was showing Steve how to make sure the incursions didn’t destroy their world. This screen, this consol, was the machine that Steve was supposed to use to make sure that everyone was safe. But there was no way that this was real. Tony was lying.

“Do you think this is real?” he whispered.

He could feel the women turn to him, staring. Unsure if they knew what he was asking. It was Natasha who spoke. “Yes. It’s true that Tony doesn’t always let us into what he’s thinking nor does he always have the right plan for things, but I believe that he is telling the truth about this.” She to a long breath in and slowly exhaled before she continued. “It may not always be clear what Tony is doing, but he’s always had the best intentions at heart.”

Steve could feel Natasha’s eyes drilling into him, daring him to contradict what she just said. Deep down, Steve knew that it was true. No matter what it was, Tony did everything in his power to make sure that everyone was safe. It didn’t matter if he was injured or if he was scared out of his mind. Tony did whatever he knew was in his power to help. Steve always did admire that about Tony. However it scared Steve as well because more times than not, it would mean Tony would go rushing in putting his life in danger. Steve never understood why Tony thought it was okay to put himself in harms way, and no matter how many times Steve yelled at Tony for it, Tony would still do it over and over again. It hurt Steve that Tony didn’t trust him enough to have Steve help him.

“Steve.” The sound of his name whipped him out of his thoughts. It annoyed him now that he couldn’t concentrate on them, but he guessed it was his fault for letting the women stay with him. He rubbed his face with his hand before turning attention back at the screen.

The previous screen with the circles was now gone and Tony was back. He was looking through the screen at Steve. Steve knew that he missed something. There was the determination in Tony’s eyes that Steve knew that Tony was holding his ground on something.

“I know you must think that this video is an apology for everything that I’ve done wrong and that I take it all back. But I don’t, it isn’t.” Tony let out a heavy breath. He scratched at his head while turning his gaze to the ground. Tony huffed a quiet laugh before finishing. “Well it kind of is, I am sorry, but I wouldn’t change what I did.” Steve watched Tony lift his head. “I would do it all again. If I had a chance to go back, I would still do everything I did again.”

That was the blow to Steve’s gut that he knew was coming. Steve could feel himself deflate’ body and soul. When Steve fought Tony for the final time that was Tony had told him, his blood covering his face and teeth broken in. Something in Steve hoped that it was just Tony’s pride that was saying that he would do it again, but now Steve knew that Tony had meant what he said before Steve bashed his skull in. There was no saving Tony, Steve knew. Tony was so far gone from redemption and Steve did what he had to do to save those countless live that Tony was going to destroy.

“But I couldn’t take you down with me.”

That got Steve’s attention. He stared up into Tony’s eyes. “I couldn’t tell you. Not you, not the Avengers.” Tony’s eyes seemed to glisten from the light of his screen. “If you didn’t know what I was doing then you were safe.” Tony took a deep breath, trying to settle himself. “You couldn’t be blamed for what we’ve- what I’ve done.” Steve could see now that Tony was starting to break again, but now he couldn’t make himself seem to care. “When the people found out what happened to the other Earths, what was done in order to protect them, they would turn against the Avengers; against everything that we’ve fought for. Sure, the people would rejoice that everyone was saved,” Tony was using that tone in his voice now that Steve knew was matter-of-fact but almost in a bitter way. But Tony changed again. “But that fact that other worlds were destroyed would always stay in the back of their minds. Make them turn against the Avengers. If the Avengers would sacrifice multiple worlds in order to save their own, then how far would go? Eventually, the people would lose trust in the Avengers. They will hate the Avengers. And I can’t-“

Tony was falling deeper and deeper into his thoughts of what he thought was going to happen. As if he knew that as a last resort Steve would let the Illuminati destroy the worlds when there was no other option left in order to save their world. Metal whined under his hands as he balled his fists under the console.

“its better that they believe that mad scientists thought they knew what they were doing.” Tony wasn’t looking at Steve anymore, just far off over his shoulder. Steve knew that Tony didn’t want to stare into Steve’s eyes while he was trying to justify himself. Tony would always cower when it came to it with Steve; deep down though; Steve knew that Tony never did cower. He didn’t know why he thought it in the first place if he knew it wasn’t true. Tony finally met with Steve’s eyes.

“The people need to believe in the Avengers. When they look at them they need to see the hope that the Avengers will always be there to help them. And that image can never change. There cant be anything in their minds that will contaminate that hope that the Avengers stand for. Look I am sorry for how I handled things with you, but I just th-”

“There you are.” Steve was startled by his own voice. He watched as he saw himself come on screen in the back ground, coming closer to Tony from behind. “Tony do you know how long you’ve been down here?”

Tony dropped his head below his below his shoulders. He let out an annoyed huff. “I don’t know, but I get the feeling you’re going to tell me.”

Even through the pixels of the screen, Steve could see his face on the screen becoming more and more annoyed. He remembered how angry he was that Tony was letting himself go in his own lab. Steve saw his eyebrow twitch while looking at Tony. “You’ve been down here for three days Tony.” Screen Steve put his hands on his hips. “And I’m pretty sure that you haven’t slept that long too.”

“Quit your mother-henning Rogers.” Tony lifted his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. Steve could tell that Tony knew that he was exhausted but he just didn’t want to admit it to Steve. “I’m working on something right now. Ill be up in a little, I just need to finish this.”

“I’ll stop my mother-henning when you stop drilling yourself into the ground Tony.” Screen Steve’s voice was laced with more annoyance the more Tony defied him. Once Steve was close enough to Tony, he leaned against the workbench near where Tony was, his arms crossed at his chest. “It doesn’t look like you’re working on anything that can’t wait after a few hours of sleep.” He exaggerated a deep sniff. “And a shower.”

Right on cue, Tony took a whiff of himself, making a face. Steve saw a small smirk of victory cross Screen Steve’s face. Steve couldn’t help the smirk himself remembering the little victory and how it felt. It actually felt good remembering the past. Remembering how things were, remembering how much he missed the happiness that he used to feel when he was with Tony. Sure, it wasn’t perfect and they would fight here and there, but there were just some small moments that they had together that Steve loved.

“Come on Tony, were going up.” Steve watched his screen self come up behind Tony and helped him out of the chair. He put Tony’s arm around his neck for leverage, but he didn’t hold on to his arm, not to trample any pride that Tony might have. Sure enough while getting out of the chair, Tony stumbled slightly, trying to get his footing.

“I’m fine Cap,” Tony argued. “I don’t need your help.”

“Sure you don’t, Tony. Because everyone is fine without hours upon hours of no food and sleep in their system.”

“I ate,” Tony challenged.

“Oh yeah,” Screen Steve said while slowing his pace as Tony stumbled again. “When was that?”

Tony said something but Steve couldn’t make it all out because the two were moving further away from the screen until he couldn’t see them at all anymore. The consol continued the recording with no one there anymore. All that displayed was the empty workshop and silence. Steve couldn’t help staring at the screen, hoping that there was something else. He didn’t know what. He knew that the Steve on the screen was now going up the elevator with Tony and making sure he ate something and then send him off to bed. But he hoped that there was more. Something to tell him what to do, what to feel.

Steve continued to stare at that screen until finally it faded into black.

**Author's Note:**

> As you can tell, I am ignoring that Battle World happened.


End file.
